Thursday, March 29, 2012

Questioning belief and other THINGS

Yellow taxi in traffic jam
“Do you believe in god” I asked him, his answer was quick, “I don’t believe in anything unless there is a proof to support it”. He was driving the car and I sat next to him. It usually takes nearly 30mint for us to reach our place from the city, but today it looked like it will take another 30 and all thanks goes to city traffic. Though my car stereo was loaded and ready to scream the classic rock and roll, I didn’t play it; instead I asked him a question, “Do you believe in god”.  I thought he wasn’t listening since he was too busy cursing the traffic, But to my surprise his answer was quick. He is a fair young man, well built and few months younger than me. We had known each other for four years now. He knew me too well and as soon as he heard my question he knew what I was up to. I knew he will pick the trick behind my question and will realize that I was going to start one of my favorite time killer games, The Rain of questions, that’s what I called it. It’s a simple game in which I will ask questions one after the other from whatever subject that comes to my mind and the other person must answer it all, he can answer it in a single word or a in a whole sentence as he wishes, and one more thing is that I will not stop asking questions until the other person starts to answer. 

Usually it will take me four- five questions to get him started, but today it was different, he answered the first question itself. I was bit surprised but it seems he too was looking for some way to kill the boredom. He adores cars and loves driving but a messy traffic can really turn it over for you. He answered my question, now it’s my turn to ask him the next one, but his answer struck me deep and it took me few minutes to digest it. He can’t do that, it’s my game and you can’t ask questions to me in my game. I got tongue tied; He not even gave me a direct answer but also asked an indirect question instead. He asked whether I had solid proof to show the existence of god. I am a believer and I believe in the existence of god, so I will not give up in any argument that says otherwise. It wasn’t an easy question to answer; I need to find a solid, existing proof. Now I know how it feels to be in the shoes of my victims. All those times I thought making the questions was the hardest part but now I realize how foolish I was to think so. I closed my eyes and thought about it in eternal blackness, seconds went like hours and it took me few long mints or was it an hour. Then all of a sudden a yellow light flashed before my eyes and my whole body started radiating a new energy. I opened my eyes and there I had it, the answer to his question, the amazing proof with which I can uphold my belief, may be even raise it to new levels. 

With great joy I turned to him and there he was looking at the traffic, cursing it. He didn’t notice anything, the entire struggle I had gone through and my realization of the truth, everything was in vain.  Now if I ask him what his answer was, he might say he forgot it. The only thing that he cared about was the damn traffic and was looking for any pocket roads to dodge the next few signals. He found one and was all excited about it, more excited than what I was earlier. It felt as a mystery to me that how simple things can make man happier than greater knowledge.  After 20 odd mints through the unknown road, we finally reached the main road (thanks to the GPS in his mobile; he did everything by himself and didn’t allow me to help, not even with the GPS). He put the stereo on and pressed his foot on the throttle; the speedometer needle took a sudden jump to 100kph and was still climbing. 

It took us 10 more mints to reach his house. The watch showed 11 when we made to his house. The crickets cry echoed so loud in my eardrums that it irritated me or was it because they were saying to each other how disappointed I looked. I hadn’t said a word to him after my Belief-breakdown, I don’t know whether there is a word called belief-breakdown or not, but it’s what happened to me. I was about to tell him something that would have taken my belief to a new level and he didn’t even hear me out, he put the damn traffic above me, more over he found more happiness in dogging the traffic than hearing my enlightening answer. He got out of the car gave me a smile and went inside his house saying a cavalier good night; there he was again, noticing nothing but feeling proud of what he accomplished today. I got out from the car, got into the driver’s seat, sat there for a few minutes, took few deep breaths. I promised myself that I won’t play my stupid game ever again. 

I wasn’t sure why I was disappointed, maybe because that I couldn’t speak out my enlightening answer to him and be the better man or maybe because he had a more exciting time during our journey than me. I stared the engine and drove towards my house. As I drove through the empty streets, the stereo started playing Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin.


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