It’s
been fun drifting through the uncharted terrains of life even if it was for a
short while. This might be my last note to this beautiful world, the last
trace of my existence that I wish may last long enough for someone to read and
realize that I did exist. The devil that's been behind me from the very moment
life touched the shapeless lump of me in my mother’s womb has caught up to me
now. I can feel its frozen breath over my shoulders and its long fingers around
my neck; it chokes me by sucking out the last ounce of hope.
The
road in front has shrunk into a fine thread, so fine that I can't see it anymore;
I feel its pressure under my foot threatening to break on each step.
Hopelessness is something that I am used to enjoying these days, especially the
severe pain in my stomach; in fact I am addicted to it now. The poking,
pinching, stretching and occasional shower of molten metal inside is keeping me
awake and clear, the morphine is an enemy; it drowses and prevents from
screaming out loud to the heart’s desire. Pain, pain, the only thing that
is keeping me sane, I want to take more and more of it so that the darkness of
fear won't engulf me alive. The moaning and crying of my dear ones will pass
as I rest my head and spread onto earth as ash, washed away by the rain, carried
around by the river, bathed, refined and finally resting gently at a river bed
to be brought back to life again, by a tiny seed. Back to this beautiful world but
now to spread hope and green.
P.S:
I am Back…… R.V.K
