It’s
been fun drifting through the uncharted terrains of life even if it was for a
short while. This might be my last note to this beautiful world, the last
trace of my existence that I wish may last long enough for someone to read and
realize that I did exist. The devil that's been behind me from the very moment
life touched the shapeless lump of me in my mother’s womb has caught up to me
now. I can feel its frozen breath over my shoulders and its long fingers around
my neck; it chokes me by sucking out the last ounce of hope.
The
road in front has shrunk into a fine thread, so fine that I can't see it anymore;
I feel its pressure under my foot threatening to break on each step.
Hopelessness is something that I am used to enjoying these days, especially the
severe pain in my stomach; in fact I am addicted to it now. The poking,
pinching, stretching and occasional shower of molten metal inside is keeping me
awake and clear, the morphine is an enemy; it drowses and prevents from
screaming out loud to the heart’s desire. Pain, pain, the only thing that
is keeping me sane, I want to take more and more of it so that the darkness of
fear won't engulf me alive. The moaning and crying of my dear ones will pass
as I rest my head and spread onto earth as ash, washed away by the rain, carried
around by the river, bathed, refined and finally resting gently at a river bed
to be brought back to life again, by a tiny seed. Back to this beautiful world but
now to spread hope and green.
P.S:
I am Back…… R.V.K
Pain keeps us sane. Otherwise why would there be pain?
ReplyDeleteWow mate. Death has a way of rearing it's ugly head and making us feel like it's the best meal in town. Sometimes, we have to go through that dark and deep tunnel to make us know who we really are and whether or not we have the balls to take on this task. OK, back to the beautiful world.
ReplyDeleteLovely post.